Swedish Bhairavi Says: “Seva In Overdrive…”

Seva is something we encourage. Seva also shows one’s level of compassion and tendencies.

As usual, I have ample experience from the “do-not-do-this”-list, which I willingly share with you so that you get some perspective and learn something from it too. This memory is about when seva goes into overdrive and how one’s level of compassion and tendencies can be shown while doing seva.

Once, when I was in Ashram in the Himalayas, I remember something that I now see was an indication of my intense inclination to do seva and improve my karma, as well as a so-called “asuric” tendency of intense penance in combination with lack of compassion.

It was not the absolutely initial times, but early days in the tradition.

We were several disciples gathered in satsang, listening to Siddha Guru. It was winter with its harsh climate and in those days washing the dishes happened outside. The stream water was freezing meaning numb fingers, cracked skin, and the dishes would be washed only to be piled up again. I was often on kitchen duty, cooking, cleaning and such things.

So everyone was working hard, perhaps tired and busy with some or the other task around the clock.

In one of the satsangs it was mentioned that a specific disciple should be doing harsher jobs. Everyone was told to encourage and let that person do the dishes in the cold water as often as possible because that person needed to improve their karma fast, to strengthen their mental and physical abilities which they were struggling with.

From what I could notice, everyone else understood the assignment; they gave that person the opportunity to do the dishes… except me.

Of course, when I retell these anecdotes from the level that I was in, I don’t include Bhairav ji as part of “everyone else.” For me, he is always in a observer state even when he is present, that’s all I can say for now.

Anyhow, what did I do after that moment? My brain heard and roughly interpreted: “Doing dishes in the cold burns your negative karma,” and the hogging tendency came alive, competitive and selfish.

The mental chatter went: “It’s good; it burns karma fast… I need that! Wait a second, I need that!! What about me? I come from the west; I know I have stuff to clear out. I definitely need to do the most difficult things! I’m not going to tell another, ‘Here, you go ahead and suffer, I’ll do something else.’ I cannot afford that…”

I ended up eagerly going to do the dishes as often as I could, silently without telling anyone and that person ended up being helped by me many times. Sometimes I even offered to do all of the dishes so that the person could go do something else if they wanted.

In those days, I didn’t yet see that even the wish to do good can carry traces of grasping. That’s how Tantra works, it shows you yourself so clearly that all pretenses fall away. What remains is heart.

As you read about this example of the past, think of how it makes you feel…

It didn’t seem so nice of me, right? It didn’t seem so loving… It did not signal or indicate compassion, care, beauty, expansion or the qualities of a nurturer, the qualities of a giver, a dene wala, a Devata, divinity.

Devata, divinity, gives. They are givers…

One can see my attitude of the past from many perspectives.

Some positive aspects were that she sure had grit, she had willingness to work hard, she had independent thinking, ability, determination, admiration for good karma and knowledge. She had faith in the methods and the inner drive for self-development and repentance as a strong target.

On the other hand, she also simultaneously had some negative aspects in attitude; like lack of faith in the process given, lack of faith overall, lack of compassion for others as well as for herself. She had overly selfish, scared, scarcity mindset, ignorance and even somewhat cunning when someone else was supposedly in need.

Now, years later, the inner alchemy is substantial, each time refining more aspects and gaining more perspective. It is purification that has happened on all levels and there is even rejuvenation and freshness within and without, even though years have passed. Now there is the fragrance of beautiful flowers and the dance of vibrant streams The vessel has, by grace of the Gurus, been tuned and molded more and more through every experience.

Over the years, I have come to see that these stories and happenings are not about fault or failure. They are about refinement. They show how even in the path of seva, Gurus help reveal our own nature, not to punish but to polish, until compassion and abundance can flow freely within us.

In regards to seva…Shakti can flow freely when you make yourself available. When you are open and ready, you become a vessel for creativity. You become your own engine, using your resources to create seva not only for yourself, but for others as well.

And with time, you even let people who can only do one certain type of seva, do it. You enable and encourage them, while you use your able body, mind, and faith in the Gurus to find something else to create. And it always happens. Wonderful seva will come your way. Shakti looks for her vessels.

So keep yourself leveled. Gain knowledge, but keep your heart with you, heart and compassion are key. When seva flows from a full heart, it becomes a gift that expands you and everyone it touches. Keep your heart open, dear ones. That is what will save you.

Remember this.

I know that this whole concept of seva and compassion is unfamiliar for most, at least in the setting of Guru Seva and in the Siddha Tantra tradition, but I know that many of you will be doing more advanced practices as well as seva. So this is the build-up for that. Laying the ground. Because doing Guru Seva always brings out one’s tendencies, the so-called good as well as the bad, and you will learn and develop from both.

With love,

Swedish Bhairavi